Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Once upon a time...

Once upon a time in a faraway, exotic land in the third world, a beautiful, young boy named Bryanboy thought he was living happily ever after.

For 17 years, he had this lovely thin body. He pretty much had everything at one point -- an average height (not too short and not too tall), long thin arms, long legs, visible collar bones, door knob-like knees, visible pelvic and hip bones, guitar-like ribs and of course, a tiny waist.

Because of this small frame and child-like body, he developed a love affair with the women's section of his favourite shops. Those starving, bloated, baby-making rodents in the third world had nothing on this bitch. He could only fit in the smallest sizes possible, like an American size 0, a Chanel sample size/34, a women's/Prada 36 or a women's/Gucci 38. He was THAT thin. He really had no choice. Anything that came from the men's section is automatically too enormous; remember that part in the film Clueless where all these skater boys with super baggy jeans walked past Cher and the song "alllllllll... alll the young duuuuuuuuddessss..." came up? Well... that's Dior Homme for him.

He loved his body so much he eventually learned how to use it to his advantage. One of which is for attention-seeking purposes. Being the natural attention whore that he is, he spent most of his time complaining he was "fat" or "clinically obese". Sometimes, he'll pretend he had an eating disorder to even get more attention. He really, really loved it. He got soo addicted to this unexplainable pleasure everytime people tell him to "eat a burger" or "you're sooo thin!!"

And then one day, hell broke loose.

Love handles, bingo wings, cellulite, stretch marks, unwanted body hair. What the fucking hell happened to the thin, baby Gia Carangi trapped inside the body of a gay asian boy who has the frame of a skinny girl?

After 17 years, mother nature turned him human.

and worse...

he got fat.

In spite of the fact that the CIA, MI-5, United Nations, NATO, Unicef and WHO investigating what exactly happened to his body, the young boy thought it would be best that he take matters into his own hands.

Thanks to his Swedish friend, he found a new diet online called "2468".

This new diet is very well-received in various weight-loss and pro-ana communities, which only means one thing: it's highly effective. Unlike many other diets out there such as South Beach or Atkins (big joke), the 2468 diet is simple and straightforward.

Day #1 - Eat a maximum of 200 calories
Day #2 - Eat a maximum of 400 calories
Day #3 - Eat a maximum of 600 calories
Day #4 - Eat a maximum of 800 calories

and keep repeating the cycle until you reach your goal weight.

The main advantage of this diet is that it keeps your metabolism from getting used to any set number of calories and therefore keeps it from slowing down.

After spending several days researching about it (and educating himself about the risks involved), he made the decision to join the bandwagon.

What happened to that young boy?

Well... welcome to his journal.


Blogger Ari Miraj said...

i dont know how you can call yourself fat, but im on a diet myself and this 2468 method is kinda interesting, altho its a little too dangerous to just consume 200 calories a day. you might get woozy.

maybe 6 8 10 12 should be ok.

January 18, 2007 at 12:58 AM  

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